


Lost

by flowerpetal275



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Car Accidents, Head Injury, Hurt Kozume Kenma, Hurt/Comfort, Hypothermia, Injured Kozume Kenma, Injury, KuroKen - Freeform, M/M, POV Kozume Kenma, Protective Kuroo Tetsurou, Protective Sawamura Daichi, Protective Sugawara Koushi, Trauma, Wilderness Survival
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:14:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29387535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerpetal275/pseuds/flowerpetal275
Summary: On the teams’ way back from a meet, the Nekoma and Karasuno high volleyball teams suddenly find the side of their bus rammed into the trunk of a tree.Yikes.__basically stuffed full with protective kuroo and hurt kenma (:
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 18
Kudos: 83





	1. The Crash

**Author's Note:**

> hiya! this is both my first fic on ao3 and my first kuroken fic (:
> 
> hope you enjoy! 
> 
> (oh and i had to make up the tournament they were playing, sorry!)

We'd just won our match against Ubugawa High. Kuro was in as good a mood as ever, but I was just ready to get on the bus and sleep forever. 

"Sorry, boys," Karasuno's coach, Coach Ukai, informs his team with a sour face, "Apparently our bus is out of commission. We can wait till another one is available, or you could all call for rides." 

"But it's, like, 9 PM!" Nishinoya whines. 

"I know, I know," Their coach grimaces, "But there's really no other option." 

I lift my head from my backpack at the sound of Kuro's voice as it fills the gym, "You guys could ride with us?" 

"Isn't your bus full, though?" Hinata pipes up from behind Kageyama. 

"We probably couldn't fit everyone, but whoever would want to could probably join us." Kuro offers. Of course he'd give up my only chance for having an entire seat to myself. Oh, who am I kidding, Kuro would've wedged himself beside me anyways. 

The gym echoes with murmurs as the Karasuno team works it out among themselves. Kuro walks up to me just as I'm swinging my backpack around my shoulders. "Tired?" He chuckles as I yawn, "You look it." 

"I just wanna get home." I grumble and rub at my eyes. 

"It's not too terribly long of a drive." He scratches the back of his head and pulls his jacket on, "You can sleep on the way." I nod and stare down at the floor. 

"So," Daichi approaches us, "You sure it's alright if some of us tag along?"

"It'll be like a party!" Shoyo shrieks with excitement and bounces up to me. "Kenma, Kenma! We can totally play Uno, like the entire way!" 

My jaw drops. You have got to be kidding me. 

"I actually think Kenma's pretty beat." Kuro pipes up for me. I'll have to thank him later. 

Shoyo frowns, "That's okay..." His smile returns in a flash, "Next time!" 

I nod and zip my jacket up. The nighttime chill is finally starting to get to me. I can only hope the bus is at least a little warm. 

Kuro notices my small shiver, "You cold?" I nod and tuck the bottom half of my face into my jacket. He smiles, "I have a sweatshirt you can wear, it's in my bag on the bus though." 

Kuro knows I struggle with keeping warm. It's kind of a circulation issue or something, I don't know. I went to the doctor for it, but I didn't care enough to pay attention. So, Kuro's always prepared for me. He'd buy me hot chocolate whenever we held hands and he realized just how cold I was. Or I'd wake up with a few more layers of blankets over me than I'd fallen asleep with. Kuro was someone I knew I could rely on. 

"Thanks." I mutter and give him a small smile. He just wraps an arm around me and holds me closer to his chest. I sigh in relief at the comfortable warmth radiating off my best friend. He gently guides me out of the gym to the big charter bus waiting for us in the parking lot. I wanted a seat in the back, but it seemed fate had it out for me considering all the luggage was stacked in a ginormous pile in the last two seats. Plus, by this point, Kuro had already led me to his seat in the middle of the bus. I guess that was okay as long as I got to sit by Kuro. I plop my backpack down and take the seat closest to the window. I knew I'd wake up sometime in the night and I wanted something to look at while Kuro undoubtedly slept on my lap. 

Thankfully, the bus and Kuro combined was just enough warmth to lull me away into sleep. "You want the sweatshirt?" Kuro chuckles as I gently lean my head against his shoulder. The bus hadn't even started moving and I was already conking out. 

I shake my head, "Too tired." He hums in understanding and wraps his arm around my small form again. With Kuro's warm comfort surrounding me, I dip into a dreamless sleep. 

My next moments of consciousness were probably the most chaotic moments of my short life. 

I wake up to a scream. "Deer!" I hear Lev shout from the front of the bus. My eyes dart around when I feel the force of the bus as it swerves to the left, then the right, then the left again. My eyes meet Kuro's for a split second. 

I barely have time to register the fear in his features before everything explodes into a white hot pain. 

"...ma! Ken..." Someone's voice drifts around the sea of thoughts swirling around in my mind. Where am I? Do I care? 

Someone's hands grip my shoulders and gently shake me, sending sparks of pain shooting around my body. I release a quiet grown, but find myself unable to swim back to the surface. 

"...nma, please! Please wake up!" Kuro? His panic-filled voice terrifies me. I never want to hear Kuro that scared ever again. 

"We need to get everyone off this bus!" Someone yells. 

"Kenma, please!" My heart clenches at the tears in his voice. I want to open my eyes, to tell him I'm here, but my body barely has enough energy to remain conscious, let alone do anything. Suddenly, I'm thrown over someone's shoulder and my body unwillingly releases an agonized scream. The pain clouds the only consciousness I have until a sheer cold takes the pedestal. I shiver against the shoulder of whoever's carrying me. Next thing I know, I feel the chilled earth beneath my hands. Someone is gently patting the side of my face, probably trying to wake me up. 

I try to focus on resurfacing. It's difficult, and painful, but I eventually find my eyes squinting into the open night sky. "Kuro?" I ask on instinct, struggling to sit up. 

A pair of strong hands push me back down, "Kenma, don't get up." 

Nevertheless, I still try to look around. "What happened?"

"Kenma, stay down, you're gonna hurt yourself more." A new voice. No, not new. Vaguely familiar. Sugawara-kun? 

"I'm not-" Something cold and wet drips down my leg, I can feel the substance on the ends of my fingertips. However, I can't seem to feel the liquid on my leg. Can I move my leg? 

I look down, blinking in relief as I see my toes wiggle. So why can't I feel the blood, then? 

More screaming is heard from around the area, making my head throb. Everything feels dizzy. Disoriented. I gently tilt my head to the left, wincing when another spike of pain stabs me in the base of my neck. But the pain fizzles into nothingness at what I see. 

There lays...someone...who was it? I squint against the darkness, trying to identify the figure laying beside me on the ground. 

I immediately feel guilty for the sigh of relief that escapes me as I realize it isn't Kuro. There lays Daichi, clutching his arm against his chest. His pained cries fill the chilling air. I've only ever seen Daichi put together, keeping a collected face for his team, even when I could tell he was silently panicking. So to see him so scattered sends a shiver of fear down my spine. Or maybe that was the encroaching cold? 

A face suddenly appears directly in front of me. The quick movement shoots stars into my vision. "Kenma!" Kuro shouts. 

I cry out and scrunch my face up. His yelling really wasn't helping my raging headache. "What-?" I don't seem to have the mental capacity to finish the question, which sends even more concern drenching Kuro's features. A small line of blood drips from a cut on his forehead, but other than that, he seems pretty okay. Thank god. 

"Can you hear me? Kenma, here, look at me," My eyes wander around the sky, my vision unable to remain focused on Kuro's face. "Where does it hurt?" 

"Everywhere." I groan out, squeezing my eyes shut. 

Suga dips into my line of sight, "What day is it?" Again, my mind shoots off into nausea, unable to remain tied to Sugawara-kun's question. "Kenma." He says assertively, "Focus on me." I really would if I could. "What day is it?"

"I don't know." I blurt out a reply, any reply, anything to just get them to stop yelling. Were they yelling? It felt like they were. 

"Can you tell me your name?" Suga asks next. 

"K-Kenma." I stutter, "Kozume Kenma." I haven't entirely lost my marbles. 

"Good, you're doing great, kitten." Kuro gently pats me on the cheek again, probably to keep me awake. 

I feel something suddenly cover my left eye and my eyes water as I try to blink it away. However, the more I blink, the more irritating it seems to get. I reach a hand up and wince when an ache suddenly erupts all over my left side. Gently touching my eye, I grimace when I feel something squishy right above my left eyebrow. I touch at it, confused as to why I can't feel it. All I can feel is cold. "Kenma!" I meet Sugawara's panicked eyes as he realizes what I'm doing. "Stop!" He grabs my left arm to try to pull it away. 

I scream in pain. His eyes somehow get wider and he quickly lets go. "Where'd Kuro go?" I ask in a daze. 

"He's gonna be right back, Kenma, he's just helping get people out." Suga explains. 

"Is everyone okay?" I can see a bit of relief in Suga's features as I slowly become somewhat coherent. 

"Yeah, the tree hit the left side of the bus so you and Daichi got it the worst. Everyone else was thrown around a bit, but only you two actually hit the tree." I only nod at his response. "How are you feeling?" I try to come up with a reply, but I don't seem to have the mental capacity to give him any one answer. "Just take it easy, Kenma." He tries to smile, but I can see the concern written in between. I can only wonder how bad I look. 

I steal another glance at Daichi and go nauseous as the gravity of the situation finally hits me. We're a bunch of teenagers in the middle of nowhere. "Where's Coach?" I ask lazily. 

"Kuroo said Coach Nekomata decided to take the next bus with the rest of Karasuno, something about making sure everyone got home okay." Suga explains, stealing a worried glance at Daichi a ways away from us on the ground, surrounded by various Karasuno members. I could tell he wanted to go comfort him. 

"Go," I gently nudge Suga away with my right arm. "I'll be okay." 

Suga shakes his head, "You're the one with the head injury." 

I only nudge him again, "He needs you." 

Suga debates for a moment before giving me a grateful smile and darting off to go comfort his team's captain. I lay my head back down on the earth and stare upwards. I focus on the pounding of my pulse in my ears, tuning out Daichi's screaming for a moment. 

Without the distraction of a conversation, I find my mind subtly lulling away into the darkness. I knew I shouldn't have fallen asleep, not with a head injury, but it's out of my control. 

All of this felt so out of my control.


	2. Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "See, we're okay...right, kitten?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kuroo's POV (:

I cannot even begin to explain the panic I felt when I realized Kenma had passed out again. I run over to him, ignoring the minimal pain as I skid my knees against the forest floor. "Kenma?!" I shout at him. I knew the shouting would hurt him, but at this point, I just needed him to be awake. "Kenma, wake up!" I shake his shoulder as gently as possible, but still with enough force to hopefully wake the small boy up. No dice. "Damn it." I curse under my breath and lean back on my folded legs. 

I run a hand through my hair as I look down at Kenma's expressionless features. With everyone out of the bus, I start to scan Kenma for his injuries. He has a gash on the left side of his forehead, where blood leaks down into his swollen eye. I was sure his eye would be completely swollen shut within the next hour or so. His left hand was turning purple, and with a quick peek under his sleeve, I realized his entire left side was bruising as well. That was gonna hurt when he woke up. The most bleeding came from his right thigh, where something seemed to be stuck in it. I gently pulled at his pant leg, grimacing when I realized it was probably a chunk of the bus's exterior. 

Oddly enough, the DS Kenma always seems to keep on his person had stopped the chunk from diving any deeper into his appendage. The screen of the console was cracked because of it, but I release a stressed chuckle as I realize the DS itself isn't actually broken. In fact, the device seemed to be fully functional. I set the console down and quickly start searching for something to soak up the bleeding with. "Lev, pass me that bag!" I shout to my friend, who was currently trying to find a signal. 

He chucks my backpack in my direction. I grab it from the air and pull out an extra pair of sweatpants I'd brought with me. I wrap the pants around Kenma's leg a few times, ultimately tying them off with a knot. "You're gonna be okay, kitten. Everything's gonna be okay." I try to reassure the pale boy laying lifeless below me. 

He's gonna be okay, right? 

Daichi's screaming had finally come to a halt. "Is he okay?" I ask Suga as he approaches me. 

"Yeah, his shoulder was dislocated so I had to pop it back in. He's got a cut on his arm, but other than that, he should be pretty okay." Suga explains. "How's it going, Kenma?" He kneels by the boy. "Kenma?" Suga lightly shakes the boy. When he doesn't reply, Suga begins to panic. "Did he pass out?" 

I nod. I had asked Suga to stay with Kenma so I could help get everyone out in case the bus exploded. 

I had asked Sugawara to watch my kitten. 

And he walked away. 

"I'm so sorry, Kuroo, I-" He stutters over his words. I can see the guilt in his eyes. "He's gonna be okay, I promise, it's just he said I could go help Daichi-" 

I felt selfish chastising Suga for helping Daichi when he was in so much pain. But the guilt was overridden by my anger. "And you listened to him?" I raise my eyebrows at Suga. "Suga, he didn't even know what day it was and you trusted he could take care of himself?!" 

"I'm so sorry!" Suga cries, his eyes looking anywhere but at me. 

"Well, 'sorry' isn't gonna help Kenma, now is it?!" I yell at him. 

"Did you try waking him up?" Suga whimpers, trying to placate the situation in any way he knew how. 

"Oh, no, I just sat here like an idiot!" My voice dripped with sarcasm. "Of course I tried waking him up!" Normally, I wouldn't yell at anyone. I was never an aggressive person. 

Well, not unless it was about Kenma, I wasn't. 

"Guys!" Daichi's voice interrupts our battle. "Stop fighting, it's not gonna get anyone anywhere." 

I sigh and run a hand down my face, wincing when my fingers graze the slice at my hairline. "Okay, okay-" I grumble. 

"Now, does anyone have service?" Daichi shouts out. I look around at the few teens who have their phones up in the air, presumably searching for a signal. They all shake their heads. "Okay, okay-" Daichi thinks for another moment, his right arm clasping his left. "What about the bus driver?" 

My voice is low, "Dead." 

Everyone goes silent. "He's dead?!" Hinata screams from the back of the crowd. He's only verbalized what we were all feeling. "You mean there's a dead guy in there?!" He points a finger at the bus. 

"Try not to think too hard about it." Tsukishima murmurs from his place among the crowd. Tsukishima had been the one to find the body, I had been the second. Tsukishima isn't one I've known to express his emotions, but when I saw his face staring at the lifeless eyes of the bus driver...

"How's Kenma?" Daichi walks over, still clasping onto his arm. 

"Not good." I reply reluctantly. "I don't even know how to take care of him, Daichi, I-" 

"It's gonna be okay, Kuroo." He insists, but I can still feel the concern behind the words. He doesn't even believe them himself. He turns to the crowd of volleyball players, "Anyone know how to start a fire? It's only gonna get colder from here." A few of my teammates murmur affirmations and move to find wood among the forest trees. 

I reach down and grab Kenma's hand. I wince as I realize just how cold it is. 

That's something I can do! 

I yank my sweatshirt from out of my backpack and gently lay it over Kenma's weak form. I'd put it on him entirely, but I'm worried moving him like that would only worsen his injuries. Next, I lay my second jacket over his legs. I have to keep him warm. For me, it was only a slight chill, but I knew Kenma had medical issues related to retaining warmth. "Does anyone have a jacket I could borrow?" I shout out. 

"Are you cold?" Lev asks from his place by the luggage. He's probably worried I'm in shock. 

"No, Kenma has this issue with keeping warm and I didn't bring enough clothes to cover him." I explain and run a hand down my face exhaustedly. Apparently, more than just Lev had heard, considering the handfuls of jackets currently being passed my way. "Thanks, guys." 

I gently lay the clothes on top of Kenma, careful to avoid aggravating the wound on his right thigh. 

"This is fucking insane." Nishinoya gapes as he looks down at Kenma. "It was just a volleyball meet, I-" 

I didn't have a reply. He was right, it was an innocent group of kids heading home after a volleyball match. Who knew things could go so wrong so fast? 

Now I wasn't even sure I'd see Kenma's adorably harsh glare ever again. Hear the clicking of his DS as he plays his favorite game beside me on his bed. What was I supposed to do without him? 

A small, orange flicker illuminates the space behind me. I turn around to find that Lev had managed to start a fire. "Yeah, Lev!" Hinata cheers, "That was so cool!" I'm not sure Hinata quite understands the weight of the situation. 

As gently as I can manage, I loop my arms under Kenma's underarms and slowly drag him over to the fire to keep him warm. He looks even worse with the minimal light bringing attention to the gleam of blood splattered across his body. I lean my back against a nearby tree and bring Kenma up to my chest, his hips lying between my legs. I wrap my arms around him in an attempt to provide an extra boost of warmth. 

The other players surround the fire, some laying down, others trying to keep each other entertained. "They should send help in the morning, once they realize we're gone." Daichi sighs and leans against a tree beside me. 

I turn my attention to the small boy lying unconscious in my lap. "See? We're okay." I whisper into his ear. His pudding hair is caked in blood and dirt, making it look as if he had never dyed it blonde in the first place. "We're okay." A few tears prickle in the corners of my eyes. "Right, kitten?" 

Exhaustion quickly catches up to me, sending me off into a light sleep.


	3. His Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma wakes up, disoriented, to find a very protective Kuro (:

My first moments of consciousness felt like I was underwater. Almost as soon as they open, my eyes squeeze shut. Too bright. Wayyy too bright. 

The warmth surrounding me alleviates at least a minority of the pain currently spreading throughout my body. What happened again? I look down at the arms straddling my chest, not understanding where they were coming from. 

As my eyes adjust to the space around me, I realize it's daytime. Heaps of teenage boys lay asleep around what I assume used to be a lit fire. To my left, Daichi lays asleep against the trunk of a tree. 

That's when I see it. The bus. Or I suppose, what was once the bus. 

The entire left side is crunched beneath the branches of the giant oak, the metal contorted around as if it had been hacked into with a chainsaw. It's hard to believe I had been sitting in the space where the trunk of the tree now resided. A small voice in the back of my mind questions how I'd even survived that. 

I knew thinking that way was going to get me nowhere, so I focused my attention on my next thought--Kuro. Where was he? 

My brain still felt like a mush of cotton balls, but I decided Kuro was the priority over my headache at the moment. Without thought, I drag myself up to my feet, watching as all the clothes that had been lying atop me go fluttering to the ground. The world seems to sway dangerously for a few moments before I'm able to find my footing. My knees feel weak, unable to support my own weight. However, I push past this and sluggishly make my way over to the bus. 

If Kuro isn't with the other players, he must be on the bus. At least that's what my jello brain had decided. 

Something in my core told me I shouldn't be walking, but my worry over my boyfriend confidently stood prominent against my own needs. "K-Kuro?" My voice cracks as I stumble into the vehicle. I don't even register the dead body lying in the seat in front of me. I stand there, staring at it. 

This was a dead person. 

A corpse. 

I should be freaking out, but I seemed to have lacked the mental capacity to care. 

Numbly, I move past the body and start searching the seats around the bus. Where had I last seen Kuro? It was at the school, wasn't it? Was he at the school? I should go back to the school. I needed to make sure Kuro was okay. 

The reality I had known a moment ago seemed to be drifting away from me. 

I absentmindedly take a seat where I had sat on the bus before, right where the impact of the tree had hit. Did we hit a tree? No, of course we didn't. I'd be dead if we did. Was I dead? 

Maybe if I wait here, Kuro'll get on the bus and we can go home. Yeah, I was probably waiting for him so we could leave the school and go home. 

Pain starts to ache deep within my bones, starting with the dull throbbing all along my left side. Confusedly, I pull the shoulder of my jacket down to find my entire arm and shoulder looking like a grape slushie. I could imagine how my left leg looks. 

I hear a scream from somewhere, I wasn't sure where. 

"Where did Kenma go?!" Someone shouts. A few voices reply confusedly. 

Ah, there's Kuro. He must be getting on the bus now. 

There's some more yelling, then I hear the hollow sound of feet on the floor of the bus. "Kuroo!" Someone shouts. Another pair of footsteps thunder around. 

"Kenma!" I look up, dazed, to find Kuro rushing towards me from the front of the bus, "You're awake!" 

"Kuro," My voice cracks, "Come on." I try to move further into the seat, but find myself unable to share the space with the tree trunk. 

"Huh?" Kuro's eyebrows bunch up in confusion. 

"Sit down." My vision focuses in and out, "Sit down so we can go home." 

His expression melts immediately into what looks like pity, "Oh, kitten..." His eyes are drenched with concern. "Come on, you need to lie down." 

I look at him, confused. "No, I just woke up."

Kuro reluctantly sits beside me, "Okay, just-" He takes a deep breath and attempts a reassuring smile, failing miserably, "Can you tell me your birthday?" 

I try, I really do. "It hurts." I grumble and bury my head in my hands. 

"I know, kitten, but please just try." 

I dig deep into my conscious, struggling to dig up the answer. "October sixteenth." I reply with a grimace. 

Kuro's smile becomes a sliver more genuine at my response, "Good job, kitten. You're doing great." A feeling of deja-vu washes over me, but I wasn't sure why. "Can you tell me my birthday?" 

Oddly enough, his one was easier to recall than my own. "November seventeenth." The stuffiness of confusion seemed to be clearing out, replaced by a raging headache. I look around me, not understanding why I was sitting in a demolished bus. "Kuro, what happened?" 

My question seemed to worry Kuro more. "The bus crashed, kitten." He explains patiently. 

"Is everyone okay? Are you okay?" I look up at him. 

"Everyone is fine, you and Daichi got the worst of it." His eyes scan my face for something, I wasn't sure what. "You've been in and out of consciousness since last night. I freaked when I woke up and you were gone." He chuckles lowly, "But it's good to see you a little more aware." 

"So we've been here all night?" I check, glancing around the bus. The seat is numbingly cold. 

"Yeah, Daichi said help should be here today, but I'm not entirely sure." 

"Why wouldn't they be here?" 

"Everyone fell asleep almost as soon as we left the school, but I stayed awake since Coach wasn't there. On the way, there was construction on the road so we had to take a detour. I don't even know if they'd know where to look, let alone come get us." Kuro explains, grimacing as he tells the story. The flicker of hope I had obtained within the last three minutes of being consciously aware was suddenly snuffed out. 

"You're kidding." I gape at him. We were going to die here? 

"There's a gas station a few miles back, but we'd all have to travel quite a ways to get there." He explains as he leans forward against the seat in front of us. "And we really shouldn't split up." 

Normally, I would've dreaded walking the distance, but my own laziness wasn't a priority at the moment. "Well, what's the harm with walking a little?" I ask with a tilt of my head. Bad idea. I grimace as pain splinters around the base of my neck. 

"Kenma, your leg is injured." Kuro explains with a huff, almost amused. 

I scoff at him, "No, it isn't." 

Kuro's playful smile slides off his face. "Yeah, it is." He points at my left thigh, where I find a pair of red sweatpants tied around my leg. Something tells me they weren't always red. "You don't feel that?" 

I couldn't tell which had me more terrified: the fact that I couldn't feel the wound, or the obvious shard of _something_ that poked against the makeshift bandage. "No." I shake my head as I poke around at the wound. 

I look up to meet Kuro's concerned eyes. "We should head back." I can tell he's trying to avoid the panic slowly bubbling up inside him. "Let's head back."

"Are you okay, Kuro?" I ask quietly, biting my lip as I watch him. 

He pauses, his back turned to me, "No." 

"Why?" 

"Because you aren't!" He blurts out. I wince at the burst of noise. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry-" He takes a gulp of air, "But Kenma, I didn't know if you were gonna wake up. When we hit that tree and I saw you slumped over, wedged between the tree and the seat, I-" His hand covers his mouth, "It was too much." 

I look down, feeling oddly ashamed for making Kuro feel that scared. It wasn't my fault, I shouldn't feel bad, right? 

"Then you finally woke up, but you were barely there. Then just now, you were _barely even there_. You looked so confused..." A few tears escape his glossy eyes. 

"But I'm okay now, Kuro." I try to reassure him, "I'm okay." 

"No, Kenma, you're not!" He exclaims. "You can't feel that piece of metal stuck in your leg, and I'm about 90% sure you're not gonna remember half this conversation in about thirty minutes." 

"We can't focus on that right now, Kuro." I say quietly. "We need to find a way home." 

"Okay, okay-" He takes another deep breath. I reach up and wipe the tears from Kuro's face, grimacing as my eyes flitter around the gash at his hairline. It must hurt. 

I reach up onto my tippy toes, as far as I can reach, and give him a kiss on the nose. Kuro kisses me on the nose all the time, and it always helps calm me down. His nose-kisses make me smile. 

So you could imagine my relief when mine does the same for him.


	4. Injury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suga and Kuroo worry about Kenma's injuries ):

After Kuro helps me out of the bus, I find us standing by what used to be the fire. Our walk from the seats to here feels like a blur, but I won't tell Kuro that. He seems way too worried as is. "Hey, Kenma..." Daichi approaches me, and I notice he's using a jacket as a makeshift sling to hold his arm up. "How you feeling?" 

"I'm okay." I give him a small smile as I look around. I notice Daichi staring at me for another moment than what I thought was necessary, but I pass it off as my messed up brain. "Are you okay?" 

"Eh, I'll be fine." He chuckles and adjusts his sling. "Let me know if I can do anything for you, alright?" The Karasuno captain lays a hand on my shoulder gently, just to make sure he had my attention. He probably thought I'd drifted off again. Did I? "Kenma?" I now notice him shaking my shoulder. "You okay?" 

"Huh?" I blink up at him. "Oh, yeah, sorry." I murmur quietly. 

"Maybe you should lay down..." Daichi eyes me with a concerned glance. 

I shake my head, "That wouldn't do anyone any good. Least I can do is go look for firewood or something." 

"Kenma," Daichi starts, raising his eyebrows at me. Where had Kuro gone? "We have tons of able guys to take care of that, just take care of yourself." 

I only nod in response, wincing when the same pain pokes me in the base of the neck. "Does your neck hurt?" I jump when I hear Sugawara approach me from behind. 

"Oh, um, hi, Sugawara-kun." I tuck my hair behind my ear as I look up at the guy. A vague memory of a conversation we'd had lingers in the back of my mind, but I shove it to the side for fear of making my headache worse. 

"What about any dizziness?" He follows up, eyes flittering around my face. Looking up at him, I realize I have to tilt my head a little more than I normally would in order to make eye contact. 

Now that I think about it, it seems as though the entire left half of my vision has vanished. Forgetting Suga's question, I reach up and touch at my eye to try to figure out where it went. Did it disappear? No, of course it didn't. I flinch when I remember the pain exploding around my face, the feeling of my fingers maneuvering around it only adding to the agony. Was my eye swollen? Is that why I couldn't see? 

"Kenma?" I'm once again startled out of my thoughts when Suga gently grabs my elbow. I recoil back, the bruising on my left side still making my entire body ache. "Sorry, do you remember what I just asked you?" 

I think on it for a moment, relieved when I'm able to come up with an answer, "Um, yeah, I'm a little dizzy." It comes and goes, but it's mostly resorted to straight pain at this point. "Why?" 

"Here," Suga positions himself in front of me, his palms up, "I want you to push against my hands, hard as you can." 

I nod, deciding not to question his orders. I wonder how Sugawara-kun knows so much medical stuff? 

Placing my palms on his, I push as forcefully as I'm able, not quite understanding why I was doing what I was doing. He tilts back in the slightest but doesn't seem to move. Weird, it felt like I'd pushed him at least a little hard. Suga looks at me expectantly, as if he were waiting for me to try again. "I did it." I look up at him, confused. 

His mouth opens as if he was going to say something before he closes it again, "Uh, great." He stutters out, "You did great." I can tell he's hiding something from me, but I decide not to press it. Instead, I walk over to my backpack, deciding I'd sift through it to see if I had packed anything that might be able to help. 

_Kuro's POV_

Suga approaches me just as I find my sweatshirt in the pile of jackets laying on the ground where Kenma and I had slept. "Kuroo?" He whispers, glancing around us. 

"Yeah?" I reply, my eyes scanning the area for Kenma. Obviously no one else can keep their eyes on him, so I have to. Just as I've always done. And just as I always will. 

Not that I'm complaining at all; I'll always be here to take care of him, protect him. I love him. I love my Kenma. 

I give a small smile when I see Kenma plopped down on the ground, sorting through his backpack. It's at least a little reassuring that he's somewhat coherent now. "I wanted to talk to you about Kenma." He murmurs and glances at said boy. 

"Oh...okay." Did I not notice something? 

"I think he's got a pretty severe case of whiplash." He grimaces. "He seems extremely disoriented, dizzy, and I noticed he has a lot of neck pain. Have you noticed any issues with his memory at all?" 

I immediately nod, "Oh, yeah." I steal another glance at my boyfriend, "It's actually really concerning, he seems to forget we're talking when we're in the middle of a conversation." 

Suga nods, "He really needs to take it easy." 

"How do you know about all this medical stuff, anyway?" I ask, watching as Kenma pulls a bag of snacks out of his backpack. Ah, yes--I stuck those in there. Kenma's always had an issue with finding the motivation to eat, but whenever he does, he usually has snacks instead of a meal. So, before we went on this trip, I was sure to pack a ton of snacks to remind the boy to eat. 

"Oh," Suga starts, giving a small smile, "I'm studying medicine after high school, so I volunteer at the hospital on the weekends. You pick up a few things here and there working with the nurses and stuff." 

I nod, cringing when it's followed up with an awkward silence, "Listen, I'm sorry for freaking out on you. I was just worried about Kenma, I still am, and I panicked. Thanks for helping him." 

"It's okay, Kuroo, I get it. I would've freaked too. I mean, he looks terrible." I follow Suga's line of sight back over to Kenma. His eye has completely swollen shut, but Kenma himself doesn't seem to pay it any mind. I can see bruising trailing up the side of his neck, probably where he had hit the side of the bus when we crashed. Don't even get me started on the wound on his right leg. I wasn't even sure how the chunk of siding had even wedged itself into his leg, but I knew we'd have to take it out sooner or later. 

I faintly remember learning in health class about not taking a knife out if you've been stabbed; the object blocks the blood flow and prevents blood loss. But I knew if it stayed in, Kenma might lose circulation in his leg or it could even get infected. The sheer fact that he couldn't feel the wound is what worried me the most, besides his head injury. "Uh, Suga?" 

"Hm?" He asks without tearing his eyes off the small boy on the ground. 

"I wanted to ask about Kenma's leg." I explain. He nods. "He...can't feel it?" 

Suga hesitates. "What do you mean 'he can't feel it'?" He asks cautiously. "He's walking on it just fine." 

"Exactly. With that injury, he shouldn't be able to walk. It'd hurt too much." I look from Kenma to Suga, "But he can't feel the wound. He can move his leg, though?" 

Suga runs a hand down his face, probably wondering how this situation has managed to become worse than it already was. That seems virtually impossible, but here we are. "Okay, it could be one of two things:" I nod, signaling him to continue, "He's either got some pretty intense nerve damage." I grimace, "Or he's still in shock." 

"I'm assuming we're hoping for the latter?" I fiddle with the sweatshirt in my hands, refusing to meet eyes with Suga. If I did, I'm afraid I'd lose it. 

"Well, if it's just shock, then I'd assume the pain'll kick in soon." Suga sighs. "We'll keep an eye on him." 

I nod, thank Suga, then head over to Kenma. "Hey, kitten." I smile as I take a seat beside him. 

"Hey, Kuro." As quiet as ever. 

"How you holding up?" 

"I'm okay." Same response every time. "You?" 

"I think I'm alright." There's a lull in the conversation. Makes sense, I'm usually the only one talking when it's just Kenma and me, but I'm exhausted. We all are. 

"So," You could imagine my surprise when Kenma initiates the next conversation, "Um, I found all the snacks you packed for me...I figured people might be hungry." He murmurs. 

I nod, smiling, "I'm sure they'd all appreciate that, kitten." 

He gives me the smallest of smiles, but the notion still sends butterflies fluttering around in my stomach. Even looking half dead, he's still the cutest person I've ever seen. "Let's go pass these out."


	5. Kitten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh, baby...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you have to go through this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg omg omg thank you for the kudos! i got so excited seeing them (: comments are appreciated so i know people might be keeping up with the story!
> 
> gonna edit tonight (:

How was it nightfall already? I could've sworn I'd only woke up a few hours ago. Then again, that doesn't necessarily mean I'd woken up in the morning. "Everyone get some food?" Kuroo asks the group, looking around to make sure everyone had affirmed in one way or another. I hadn't eaten much; I was only halfway into my bag of pretzels when I quickly realized I was ready to hurl. I somehow managed to keep the food down, struggling desperately to convince my body not to waste the sustenance. 

However, I had decided I wouldn't try again after that, for fear of puking it all up anyway. "Did you eat, Kenma?" I look up at hearing Kuro's voice. 

I nod in response, looking back down at the sleeve of my hoodie. Or rather, Kuro's hoodie. He gave it to me a little while ago to stay warm. "How much?" He follows up. Kuro always follows up, just to make sure I actually ate enough. 

I shrug, "I didn't feel good after so not much, I guess." He sighs. "I didn't want to throw it up." 

I hear him sit beside me against a tree trunk, "You have to eat, kitten." 

"I know," I murmur quietly, "Just later." I feel his arms wrap around my shoulders, pulling my small body into his chest. I relax into the warmth, sighing as I still try to process what's going on. A small throb starts pulsating in my leg, sending a wave of pain through me. "Ow." I mutter. 

Kuro immediately perks up at my distress, "What's wrong?" 

"My leg, I don't know." I see Kuro's features combine oddly with relief and concern at my response. 

"We need to get that shard out before the feeling comes back, or it's gonna hurt like a mother." He grimaces and gets up, "Suga!" 

"Wait, what?!" I shout at his retreating form, alarmed. They're gonna pull the metal out?! I look down at my leg and slowly unwrap the makeshift bandage, cringing at the pull of dry blood against my torn flesh. It looks horrible. Suga comes jogging up to me with Daichi, Kuroo, Tanaka, and Lev at his side. "What are you doing?" I ask quietly and try to scoot away, panicking when I bump against a tree. 

"Kenma, just take a deep breath," Suga places his palms out to try to show he means no harm, "We just have to get that metal out before the feeling comes back, okay? We were waiting it out to see if you could make it till help came, but it doesn't look like we're gonna be found tonight." My eyes widen at his response. "It'll get infected if we leave it in any longer, Kenma." 

"No, no, no-" I try to back away further when Tanaka and Kuroo show up on either side of me. "Kuro, I can't do this, it's gonna hurt-" 

"Sh, sh..." Kuro tries to calm me down, "It's gonna be okay, kitten. Suga's gonna try to make it quick, okay?" 

"Try to focus on us, alright, Kenma?" Daichi smiles from behind Suga. My eyes cast downwards, where I see Suga vigorously washing his hands under a bottle of water. He applies hand sanitizer afterwards. "Hey, Kenma?" I look back up at Daichi. "Right here, bud." 

"Please, I don't wanna do this, just leave it in, I don't care!" I shout at them, trying to squirm away. Kuroo and Tanaka grab both my upper arms to try to keep me in place. "Let me go!" I don't like being touched, let alone held against my will. 

"We gotta do it, kitten." Kuro says beside me, his voice laced with both comfort and concern. I see Suga reposition himself, with his legs on either side of my right leg, straddling my shin to keep it in place. 

Suga grimaces, "I'm really sorry, Kenma. Trust me, I don't like this just as much as you don't." He starts to reach down towards the wound. I thrash in place, struggling to break free. His fingers barely graze the wound, and I quickly realize just how much feeling is returning to my leg. I'm assuming I was in shock, since now my leg just feels ice cold. Either that or it's numb from blood loss. 

Pain sparks from the spot he'd just barely touched and I release a yelp. All the boys share a glance, probably thinking, 'We should've done this earlier, BEFORE the feeling came back.' Yeah, that would've been a great idea. 

Suga slowly wraps a hand around the chunk of metal, his fingers digging into the flesh of my thigh. "Hey, kitten-" I look up at Kuro, my eyes filled with tears, "Tell me about your new game, hm?" 

"Kuro-" I start, not ready for the agony I'm about to experience. 

"Please, kitten...just try." He pleads. His eyes wander my face for a moment, and I feel guilty for making him feel like this. 

I nod, feeling repressed tears spill across my flushed cheeks, "Um, it's a new racing game," I lose all process of thought as pain explodes from my leg. I scream, writhing around with the two boys holding down my arms. I can feel Daichi holding down my left leg with his good arm. A sharp pain stabs me all along my left arm, where Kuro's hand grips my bicep. I can barely register the regret in his eyes as the pain becomes ten times stronger. 

"It's-" I scream out again, "It's..." I suddenly lose all the energy in my body and fall limp against the tree. It feels as though it was only a second's difference, but when I open my eyes next, I see Suga vigorously trying to stop the blood flowing freely from the wound. The bloodied shard of metal lies in the dirt beside him. Tanaka's already let go of my arm and is currently trying to pass Suga more and more material to absorb the blood. I guess he figured there was no reason to hold me down if I was unconscious. 

The pain has become hot, numb. My head lulls to the left, where I see Kuro staring wide-eyed at my gushing thigh. Sweat beads on my forehead. I feel weak, unable to do more than blink and breathe. "Hey, kitten..." Kuro's soothing voice calms my freezing nerves. "Stay with me, hm?" 

I nod subtly, trying my best to stay conscious. Unfortunately, I managed to find one more thing to fail at. 

_Kuro's POV_

There he goes. His beautiful golden eyes drifting back off to unconsciousness for the third time in two days. 

The sight of his blood spurting from his leg horrifies me, leaving me speechless. "Is it supposed to bleed that much?!" 

"I-" Suga stutters over his words, obviously just as panicked as the rest of us, "Probably?!" 

My jaw practically hits the floor, " _'Probably'_?" I gape, "You mean you don't know?!" 

"I'm not a doctor!" He shouts right back at me, "Hell, I'm not even an intern!" Finally, it seems as though the blood has stopped flowing as fast as it had before. Kenma's leg is dripping with the crimson liquid, his complexion pale and clammy. His hair sticks uncomfortably to the sides of his face. 

"Why the hell would we rip that piece of metal out then?!" I shout at him, my voice panicked. 

"It was gonna get infected if we didn't take it out sooner or later! And it was restricting his blood flow!" Suga tries to explain through shaky breaths. 

"Guys!" Daichi shouts over our voices, "For the millionth time, screaming at each other isn't gonna help Kenma!" We both go quiet, silently staring at Kenma's leg instead. 

We remain still for another moment before I remember the setting sun. "I gotta find a way to keep him warm." I murmur and stay up, wiping a tear off my cheek that I hadn't known was there. 

"I'll get Yamamoto-san to start the fire again." Tanaka gently claps me on the shoulder before heading off towards Yamamoto on the other side of our makeshift camp. 

I take my jacket off and lay it across Kenma again, deciding it'd be best if I started retaining some warmth now. I lean back against the trunk of the tree and pull Kenma's small body up to my chest, my hips straddling his again, just as I had last night. It had kept him warm enough, so it'll have to do. 

After ten minutes or so, the sun had finally set. Yamamoto got the fire going, the orange glow being the only give of illumination in the area. It's a moonless night, making it even darker than it had been the previous evening. I look down at Kenma, unconscious in my arms, for the second night in a row. "Oh, baby..." I grimace and try to brush away his bangs from his eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry this has to happen to you." 

He probably won't ever ride a bus again. I won't either, after seeing Kenma like that...lying there, dead, in the bus seat. He wasn't dead, but my instincts were strong enough to convince me he was. 

Eventually, the crackling of the fire and the feel of Kenma's shallow breaths against my chest lull me away into a dreamless sleep. 

_Kenma's POV_

I wasn't sure how long I was out for. When I woke up next, it was still nighttime. The fire had reduced to glowing coals. Who had started a fire? I try to shift in my spot, but find myself way too weak to lift myself up. My leg is aching with a dull pain, sending waves and waves of agony pulsating from the wound on my thigh. My head pounds, only adding to the mess of complications. 

I can feel Kuro's strong arms wrapped around my body, feeling the comforting warmth of his chest on my back.

The coppery smell of my own blood sends shivers down my spine. Oh, no, that was just the cold. The freezing cold. My hands and feet ache with that familiar chill, the kind of chill that makes your fingertips feel white-hot under warm water. 

I sit there for a bit, my eyes adjusting to the dark. My head painfully snaps to the left after hearing a crunch of leaves. I squint against the darkness, my curiosity getting the best of my fear. 

More crunching. Is something...sniffing? 

I squint harder, noticing a bit of movement in the darkness on the other side of the firepit. 

I freeze. 

Are those... _wolves?_

I forget how to breathe. 

Oh my god. 

What do I do?! 

"K-Kuro-" I whisper as quiet as I can manage while still making noise. "Kuro, wake up-" My voice cracks, putting my fatigue on display. 

Kuro stirs against me, murmuring something in his sleep. "Kuro." I whisper, a little louder. Something nudges my leg and I tense. 

They found me. 

Kuro's eyes peep open, "Kenma?" He yawns, moving to stretch. 

"Kuro, no!" I try to get him to stop. The animal at our feet growls, most likely barring its teeth at us. 

Kuro freezes. "Shit." He hisses under his breath. "Kenma, don't move a muscle." 

"Couldn't even if I wanted to." I murmur, refusing to tear my eyes away from the thick, black mass among the rest of the pitch-black darkness. I don't even get to face the thing that's gonna kill me? Rude. "Kuro, I think it smells the blood." 

Somehow, Kuroo tenses even more. "Kenma, it's gonna be okay." 

"Kuro, it knows I can't protect myself. They're gonna attack us." I want to cry. Kuro's worked so hard the past two days trying to keep me alive, and this is what's gonna kill me? 

"Not if I have anything to say about it." Kuro mutters quietly. I suddenly see his foot lift up, his tennis shoe coming in direct contact with the wolf's nose. The animal whimpers before releasing an angry growl. 

Juuuuuust great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smol cliffhanger lol oooops
> 
> comments are much appreciated! <3
> 
> 02/15/21


	6. His Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know, I've always hated dogs."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the comments!! i love seeing them so much!
> 
> so sorry, editing this tonight!

_-Previously on: Lost...-_

_"Kuro, it knows I can't protect myself. They're gonna attack us." I want to cry. Kuro's worked so hard the past two days trying to keep me alive, and this is what's gonna kill me?_

_"Not if I have anything to say about it." Kuro mutters quietly. I suddenly see his foot lift up, his tennis shoe coming in direct contact with the wolf's nose. The animal whimpers before releasing an angry growl._

_Juuuuuust great._

With the wolf momentarily distracted by the pain of Kuro's heel against its snout, Kuro loops his hands underneath my underarms and lifts me to my feet. I release a shriek of pain as I feel the pressure of my own weight lean on my right leg. My legs collapse out from under me, but Kuro catches me before I go down. The rest of the two teams startle, alarmed by my scream. Oops. 

A scream echos back to me through the darkness. Another.

Guess they found the wolves. 

Kuro grabs me by the waist, holding me horizontally at his side. A strangled gasp escapes me when his arm presses against my bruised left side. "Kuro, please-" I plead, feeling unable to breathe due to the excrutiating pain. A sharp sting stabs me in my left calf, but it doesn't hold a candle against the rest of my aching body. However, the force of whatever caught me pulls me backward, out of Kuro's arms. Kuro and I hit the floor. 

I try as hard as I can to kick the thing away, but my only free leg (my right leg) lacks less than enough energy to even lift itself up. I feel helpless as it drags me through the leaves, snarling. I can't even help myself. 

Looking around, I realize most of the teenage volleyball players have disappeared. Where did they go? 

Dread sparks inside me when I see Daichi, Suga, and Kuro backed right up against the firepit. A few wolves surround them. "Kuro!" I scream. It's hard to see in the dark, however I notice his head turn in my direction at the sound of my breaking voice. 

"Kenma?!" He shouts, his voice panicked. "Kenma, where are you?!" 

"Kuro, please-" I sob as I continue to try to kick the rabid animal away. The thing, finally fed up with me, lets go of my leg and snaps its jaws in my direction, growling. "Get off me!" 

Suddenly, a fiery hot, glowing coal comes flying through the air, hitting the wolf right in the side of the face. An eerie sizzle draws a whimper from the creature. Another one hits the animal in the chest, leaving a harsh burnt welt in its place. It finally gives up, barking before taking off into the trees. I slump back, somehow even more exhausted than I was before. "Kenma!" Kuro screams my name for the millionth time, running up to me. He scoops me into his arms, sprinting to the bus. "You're gonna be okay, kitten. I said it before and I'll say it again." The bus is packed with the Karasuno and Nekoma teams. 

Suga and Daichi follow us, quickly slamming the bus door shut before three more rabid wolves have the chance to trail board. "Lay him down." Suga places a hand on Kuro's back as he carries me to a bus seat, gently setting me on the cushion. "Hey, Kenma?" I peep my eyes open again to find Suga looking down at me, "Really putting you through the wringer, huh?" He chuckles, but it lacks any real joy. I can feel the fear in his voice. The chilling sound of wolves barking just outside the door of bus only works to thicken my anxiety. 

"You know, I've always hated dogs." I groan. I hadn't thought it a joke, but the painfully aggressive sound of Kuro's laugh somehow comforts me in the slightest. 

That dog was gonna eat me. Why didn't it? I couldn't even help myself, I was practically sitting there _waiting_ to be attacked. The fear of the snarling face of the dog comes rushing back to me. I stare at the ceiling of the bus, trying to calm my racing heart. "The hell are we supposed to do?!" Kuro appears to my left, leaning forward against the back of the seat I'm laying on. 

Suga gives me a once-over, obviously having given up on hiding the concern he's practically dripping with. "Well, stop the bleeding, for one." His eyes dart around the bus, probably searching for something to cover my leg with. He sighs worriedly, having found nothing. 

"Kuro," I murmur, trying to blink through the stars floating in my vision, "I don't think-"

"Stop." Kuro's voice is stern. "We're not about to start thinking like that." 

"I'm only holding everyone back." My voice cracks, putting my exhaustion on display. "If it weren't for me, everyone could go walk to that gas station and find help." 

"We're not leaving you behind, damn it!" He practically shouts at me, bringing the rest of the bus to a silence. "I can't leave you, kitten." 

"Kuro..." I trail off, the blood loss finally catching up to me, "I don't want you to die out here with me." 

Kuro seems to flip his top. "Kenma, I can't live without you, alright?!" Neither of us cares if the rest of the bus can hear us, we're well beyond the pettiness of that. "I can't and I _won't!_ " He huffs and puffs for another moment, "So for fuck's sake, quit acting like I can." 

The smallest of smiles tugs at the corner of my lips. "What are you laughing at?" Kuro scoffs, but I can see the smirk playing on his face. 

"Nothing." I reply quietly, "Nothing at all-" Our amused demeanor comes crashing down as a cough rattles through my chest, leaving my body feeling achy all over. I chalk it up to my dry throat, choosing to neglect the idea that I might be getting sick. It would genuinely be the end of me if I caught a cold. 

Somebody fumbles with my injured leg, but I again, choose to ignore them. Who even cares anymore? Caring is too much work. "Just rest, kitten." Kuro smiles down at me warmly as he gently runs his fingers down the side of my face, brushing away my hair. "We'll be home soon." 

I drift away into sleep, part of me hoping I'll wake up back in Kuro's warm arms again, snuggled against his chest. 

_Kuro's POV_

I release a heavy sigh as Kenma falls asleep, his tense, small body finally relaxing against the seat. "Okay-" Suga starts, looking up at me from where he'd been inspecting Kenma's leg. "We can't wait this out any longer. Someone's gotta go get help, or Kenma's not gonna-" 

I interrupt Suga, knowing I wouldn't be able to mentally handle him finishing his sentence, "Alright," I shout across the bus, confident that Kenma's not gonna be waking up any time soon. "One group's leaving to find help, one is staying here." Automatically, I know I'll be staying here with Kenma. "Work it out amongst yourselves." There's a lull of silence before murmurs start filling the space. 

I turn back to Suga, "How do we help him?" Suga thinks for a moment, staring at Kenma's bleeding leg. 

"Keep him warm, keep his calf elevated, and try to get some food in him when he wakes up." Suga sighs, "I noticed he didn't eat much earlier." 

I nod, "He thought he was gonna throw it all up, so he didn't bother with it." I explain for the small boy laying in front of me. 

Suga nods, then looks around, "Alright, well, everyone get some rest. Those of you leaving in the morning, come let either Kuroo-san or Daichi-san know." A weird mixture of Karasuno and Nekoma players come marching up to us, mostly Karasuno. Daichi and I talked for a bit, deciding Daichi would go with the players leaving in the morning, and I'd stay here with the others. 

Turns out, the ratio of players staying to players leaving was pretty slim; The only ones staying were Hinata, Suga, (obviously) Kenma, and I. 

I guess we'd use the bus for as much shelter as possible, since the outdoors proved to be too dangerous for Kenma. We hadn't stayed on the bus before for fear of it potentially blowing up; The fuel-line could've been snapped in the crash, and if the bus exploded with us inside--let's just say it wouldn't be pretty. Not to mention, you can't really start a warming fire _inside_ of a bus. 

But with predators looming among the trees, it's too dangerous to leave Kenma there helpless. I knew he couldn't protect himself. I knew he was bleeding. I should've put two and two together and made the safer decision, but I failed him. I failed my kitten.

I want so badly to curl up behind Kenma and hold him close to me, to sleep the night away with him in my arms. But I knew trying to move him like that would only hurt him, and that was the last thing he needed right now. Hell, Kenma being more hurt was the last thing _I_ needed. So instead, I lay down on the seat across from him. That way, I'm able to keep an eye on him just in case. 

I can't believe I've let it come to this. I'm supposed to take care of him. I'm supposed to protect him! 

And seeing him lay there, one foot in the grave...my heart feels like it's shattering. 

I'm gonna get my Kenma home, if it's the last thing I do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ending probably within the next few chapters! 
> 
> editing tonight (:
> 
> comments are much appreciated! <3
> 
> 02/17/2021


	7. His Hopelessness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kenma's pov ;)

I wake with a start, silently shaken out of a bad dream. I can't remember much of it, but the vivid picture of a wolve's snarling jaws feels engraved in the back of my eyelids. 

Everyone is moving around the bus, chatting quietly. People have backpacks slung on their backs, jackets pulled taught over their bodies. Where is everyone going? 

Are they actually leaving me? 

I don't know why I feel surprised, this is what I wanted after all. It was what was best for everyone. The hard truth. 

"Hey, Kenma," I look up again to find Daichi standing over me. He kneels down beside me, between the next seat and the one I'm on. "Hanging in there?" 

I nod subtly, trying my best to give him a small smile of reassurance. "Good..." Daichi tries to smile back, also failing miserably. "Listen, we're gonna go find help, okay?" 

I nod again, feeling a few tears prickle at the corners of my eyes. So they really are leaving me here? 

Daichi's face twists with concern as he sees my expression, "Don't worry, Kuroo, Suga, and Hinata are staying with you, alright?" Relief floods through me at his words, and I nod for a third time. "But I need you to do something for me." 

I tilt my head at him softly, wincing at the same sharp pain that pokes me in the base of my neck. "I need you to hang on." Daichi's eyes study my face. "For everyone, for yourself--just hang on, alright, Kenma? Can you do that for me?" Suprise shoots through me when I see a tear well in his eye too. He quickly blinks it away. 

"Y-yeah." I stutter out, my voice cracking. 

Daichi gives me another sad smile, "Plus, what would Kageyama do without such a good setter to compete against?" 

I give a small chuckle. This brings a real grin to the Karasuno captain's face, and I notice a glimmer of hope dwindling in his chocolate brown eyes. 

"I'll see you later, okay, Kenma?" His voice is oddly cold. Not cold as in harsh, but cold as in pained. 

"See you, Daichi." I murmur in response. He pats my shoulder comfortingly before standing and moving towards the entrance of the bus. It's entirely empty now, the only person inside being me lying on the seat. 

What was that all about? He was just walking a few miles with the others to get help, right? 

That's when it clicks for me-- 

_He thinks I'm gonna die._

It feels as though my blood freezes in my veins, stopped along their endlessly flowing tracks. 

I was going to die out here, and Daichi just said his last goodbye--his condolences, his moment of silence, his apology. 

I was practically already six feet under. 

I didn't even realize I started crying until Kuro appeared in my line of sight and brought it to my attention. "Just leave me alone." I mutter breathlessly, struggling to sit up. Kuro goes to help, but I gently push his hand away. I pull myself to my feet and try to walk out of the bus, stumbling when I find the pain too unbearable to walk on my own. 

"Kenma-" Kuro catches me before I hit the ground, carefully lowering me so I can sit with him on the grimy floor. "What's wrong?" 

I sit there and sob, trying and trying to process the fact that my death was practically written in the stars by this point. "Kuro-" I hiccup, not bothering to wipe my tears away. I'm only crying out of my right eye, since my left eye is still swollen shut. "Kuro, I don't wanna die here-" 

Kuro's concerned face melts into pity, "Oh, kitten..." He holds me close to his chest, allowing my sobs to reverberate through his chest. "I'm not gonna let you slip away that easily, you got that?" 

"Kuro, you know I'm too far gone." I sit up, struggling to make eye contact with him through the tears blurring the vision in my only good eye. "By the time they get help, I'll be-" 

"Kenma." He interrupts me, his tone heavy against the weightless air of the empty bus. "I'm keeping you alive. I'm not leaving you." 

"Go with them-" God, it's annoying how hard it is to talk at the moment, "Go, or you're j-just gonna die here with me. Please, I'm not even worth the-" 

"Oookay-" Kuro places a hand up to stop me, "First of all, we're _soooo_ talking about your self-worth issues once we're out of here. And second, I don't care if it means I die here with you, Kenma. I'd rather die here with you than live without you." 

I throw myself back onto his chest, squeezing him as tight as I'm able. He holds me, his chin resting on the top of my head. After a moment, I pull away, wiping my tears off on my sleeve. "Who all is staying? I think Daichi mentioned who, but, uh..." I trail off, gesturing to my head. 

"You forgot?" Kuro eases, squinting at me. I nod, and he purses his lips with concern. "It's okay, Kenma, Suga said that was probably due to the whiplash." 

"' _Probably_ '?" I echo with raised eyebrows. Well, as raised as they could be with an eye swollen shut. 

Kuro goes quiet for a moment, obviously not wanting to dwell on the possibility of brain damage. "We don't have to think about that right now, okay?" 

Don't we? 

What else have I forgotten without even realizing it? 

I simply give him a small nod, remembering not to move my neck too much for fear of that same sharp pain. "Can we go outside?" Kuro hesitates, but ultimately helps me up and out of the bus. He sits me down beside the wheel, so I can watch the trees. I'm honestly surprised no one's even driven on this road yet, we must've really took a serious detour. 

"I'm gonna go find some extra firewood, okay?" Kuro smiles from beside me. 

"I'll be here." I give him a small smile in return and watch as he walks away. Shoyo suddenly comes sprinting into view, excitement written all over his face. 

"Kenma, Kenma Kenma!" He cheers, plopping down in front of me. "You're awake!" 

"Um, yeah." I reply, smirking at his cheery attitude. 

"Everyone was really worried. We couldn't wake you up all night." He says obviously without thinking, pulling his box of Uno cards out of his pocket. "Suga kept mentioning brain damage and stuff." 

I tense. "What else did they say?" I need to know what all they were thinking. How far gone did they think I was? 

"Just stuff about your leg and infections." He shrugs it off, separating the cards into two piles, then divvying one pile into two smaller piles of seven. "Oh, that reminds me!" Shoyo reaches into his pocket, pulling out a bag of crackers. He hands it to me, "Suga told me to give these to you once you woke up." 

"Where'd Suga go?" I ask as I also take one of the piles of seven. Guess Shoyo's getting that game of Uno after all. 

"Suga just went to see if he could find any water nearby." Shoyo explains, turning a card over between us to start our game. 

I eat a few crackers, grimacing when the food starts to make me feel queasy. "You okay, Kenma?" I look up to find Shoyo watching me closely. 

"Yeah." I murmur quietly, "I'm just not very hungry." He nods. Suddenly, Suga shouts from somewhere in the trees, asking for Shoyo's help. 

"I'll be right back." Shoyo assures me before setting his cards down, face-up, and sprinting off towards the voice. I laugh quietly at Shoyo's upturned cards. He's too innocent for his own good. 

Shoyo had become one of my closest friends when I met him at a tournament a few months back. We text almost every day, much to Kuro's jealousy. I haven't seen him much on this trip though, but I'll assume that's because I look half-dead and that, understandably, must terrify him. 

I wonder if anyone else is injured, but Kuro just didn't tell me to spare me the stress. 

Kuro. Where did he go again? 

I have a vague memory of him telling me something...but what was it? 

Was he hurt? Was he okay? Did he need help? 

Did he need me to do something serious and I forgot? 

Too many possibilities, not enough brain capacity to process them all. Quickly deciding to look for my boyfriend, I tug myself to my feet, letting my cards flutter off my lap and onto the forest floor. "Kuro?" I call out. No response. 

Where had Kuro left to? Which direction? 

A vague instinct pulls me North into the trees, so I follow it. The pain in my leg is excruciating, but after a few minutes, it seems to numb into a dull throb. "Kuro?" I call again, my voice breaking. 

"-nma!" I hear the end of someone's words from somewhere to my left. I follow it, my curiosity perked. 

"Kuro?" 

"Kenma, what the hell are you doing?!" 

I take another step forward, almost collapsing when I lose my footing on the side of a drop-off. It wasn't so much of a drop-off as it was a sort of steep hill, nothing but flat green earth, tall trees, and a messy Kuroo residing at the bottom. I loop my arm around a tree to keep from falling. A tumble like that would surely be the death of me, considering the state I'm in. "Kuro, what are you doing down there?" 

He smirks, "What do you think, kitten? Hosting a tea party?" I playfully roll my eyes (eye?). 

"How do I get you back up? Do I come down?" Without much thought, I start carefully trying to ease my way down the hill. 

"Don't you dare!" Kuro shouts, "Do. Not." 

"Well, how else am I gonna help you up?" 

"Go get Suga! Or Hinata!" He hollers. I can see him sitting on the ground, surrounded by what looks to be sticks. What was he doing with sticks? 

"They're-" What were they doing again? I place a hand on my head, trying to remember what they'd been doing. "Uh, they're getting water!" 

"You mean they left you alone?" He raises his eyebrows, but not specifically at me. "Oh, _they_ are getting an _earful_." 

"Yeah, yeah, tough guy." I smirk, "Let's just get you back up. Maybe there's an easier way up further that way?" I point to my right, which would be Kuro's left. "That's where camp is anyways." 

"Do you think you could walk all that way by yourself?" 

I roll my eyes playfully again, then start limping in that direction. Kuro follows parallel to me, at the bottom of the hill. I can tell he has to slow down his pace for me to keep up with his speed. After a little while of walking, Kuro speaks up again, "Kitten, I don't think we're gonna find another way up. You gotta go get Suga and Hinata." 

"But-" I stop myself, afraid of the reality of my question, "But what if I forget by the time I get there?" 

Kuro's voice is soft, forgiving, "You won't, kitten. I know you won't. I trust you." I grimace, holding in a snark comment about how trust isn't gonna fix brain damage. 

"Okay...I'll be back, Kuro." I call down to him before moving back into the trees, hopefully towards camp. 

Okay, focus, Kenma--you're helping Kuro. You're not gonna forget. You're gonna get Suga and Hinata. 

I question how exactly they're gonna pull him up. We don't have any rope. Maybe they'll climb down? If they get stuck too then I'll be all alone. 

Like I am now. Which direction was camp? I think it was this way. Everything is just trees, so it all looks the same. 

God, I've always hated the outdoors. Still do. Especially now. 

I silently wish I had my DS with me so I could play Animal Crossing. Animal Crossing was the only outdoors I enjoyed. Where was my DS? 

Was it with Kuro? Where was Kuro?

...

Kuro! I was gonna help Kuro. 

After steering my mind back on track, I finally find camp. Suga and Hinata are darting around the area, frantically calling my name. "Guys?" I murmur quietly. 

Their eyes dart over to me and relief floods their faces, "Where did you go?!" 

"Uh, that way." I point feebly in the direction I'd just come from. "I went looking for Kuro." Before I can forget again, I blurt out the situation, "He needs help, he fell down a hill." 

Hinata holds back a laugh, Suga sighs. "I'll go get him. You just sit here with Hinata, okay?" I nod, deciding not to ask questions. 

I sit against the tire again. I suddenly feel the exhaustion of pushing my body past its limits flood over me. I doubted I'd make it to the end of the day, with the weakness embedded deep in my bones. 

Judging by the angle of the sun, and the fact that I play Minecraft, I'd assume it's around mid-afternoon. 

My last evening. 

Spent sitting against a bus tire next to a run-down road. 

Fantastic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really appreciate the comments! <3
> 
> probably gonna end this within the next chapter, maybe two. i feel like i've been dragging this out a bit, haha. 
> 
> but i'd be willing to do one shots post-plotline if anyone wanted them! 
> 
> thanks for reading! see you next update! 
> 
> 02/19/2021


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